Martha, Sally, and Z. Z. Zomba

Today, in the back yard, Martha told me…

I’m a zombie, but I don’t eat brains. My parents keep trying to feed me brains, but I don’t eat them. I eat people food. I go the the grocery store and I say, “I want some cashews, can I buy some?” and they see that I’m a zombie and that I want people food and they say “of course!” Then, they don’t even charge me any money, they give them to me for free!

When I get home, my parents give me brains, but when they aren’t looking, I put the brains in the trash. Then I just munch on the cashews and they hear the munching and they think I’m munching on the brains.

My name is Zombie Zombie Zomba. My parents gave me that name. They aren’t my real parents. My real parents aren’t zombies. Their names are Andy and Aggie. My zombie parents stole me from my real parents and ate my brains and I turned into a zombie, but I don’t like brains. My real parents named me Sally.

I ran away from my zombie parents and was looking for a new place to live and I saw your house, so I went in to look to see if more zombies lived there. I saw people food in the fridge, so I knew people lived here. I decided to make friends with you!

Look, I’m wearing your daughter Martha’s clothing. I met her and I asked whether I could wear her clothes and she said I could if it was okay with her mom. So she asked her mom and her mom said “yes, as long as she promises to spill any brains on them.” Martha said, “Mom, she won’t spill brains on my clothes because she doesn’t even eat brains!” So now Martha and I are friends, even though I’m a zombie!

Written on February 25, 2012
martha   zombies