death to verizon

I abandoned Verizon when MCI introduced The Neighborhood. I’d long wanted unlimited long distance. “Verizon,” I said, “will you do that for me?” They said, “No.”

Immediately after I switched, they started mailing me and calling me, asking how they could get me back. “Give me unlimited long distance for a flat fee,” I said. They said, “Well, no.”

So, I was happy with MCI. While the level of service I received declined, it was never anything less than Just Fine. Finally, though, I had to switch back to Verizon. Otherwise, Speakeasy couldn’t give me faster DSL service. I’m not sure what the awful reasoning is, but whatever. I switched. Verizon now has unlimited long-distance, so that’s good.

Today, I got my welcome package. It’s addressed to “Richardo Signes.” Let me tell you something: nobody is named Richardo. Every occurance of that name ever is a typographical error. Sure, some people go through life with it, but only because the typo occured at birth or christening. My name is not Richardo. I was very clear about this with the CSR who signed me up. “Oh, she said, I /had/ put an aich in there. I’ve fixed it.”

Nonetheless, today I got a bill for Richardo. I called to report this, and navigated about five minutes of menus. Then I got hold for five minutes. Then I got a message, “We’re too busy. Call back later. CLICK!” It is not an exaggeration to say that I flung the phone against the wall.

I hope I don’t have to talk to them again. At least until it’s to explain why I’ve switched back to some other provider with whom Speakeasy can now do business.

Written on September 30, 2004