journal for 2003-05-07

the intarweb


People are really annoying, sometimes. A few examples follow.

Yesterday, I got several random “spam” instant messages. Yay Hotmail, right? I hate MSN Messenger, but I use it to reach the other IT guys from work. Eventually, I got a relatively unusually one and replied to it.


(17:45:16) dont fucking im me


(17:45:29) acestus: blow me


(17:45:53) blow yah momma u fuking cock sukker


(17:46:03) why the hell all yall be iming ppl


(17:46:18) acestus: Don't you feel stupid, sending abusive messages to random people?


(17:46:31) well ur the one imming me 1st


(17:46:36) acestus: No, I'm afraid not.


(17:46:46) wadeva son


(17:46:47) bye

Wadeva son. I feel bad that there are people who … well, who are like this. I remember when the Internet was blah blah blah shining ivory tower blah blah. I guess I’m an elitist asshole, but I wish people using the network would at least behave in a somewhat civil—or at least intelligent—manner. I don’t mind flames, but the above is just bizarre. I don’t even know how this person got the idea that I’d IM’d her. (Her?) From now on, my first response to all random messages will be, “LOL HI WANNA CYBER??!?1”

No, I’m not kidding.


I was talking with Bryan this morning about last night’s Smallville. I said that it paved the way for Bizarro and I explained who he was. I tried to find an image of him with Google. One of the images I found was from some /bizarro/porn directory, and showed a woman holding her labia open about ten centimeters. The rest of the directory was worse. It included scat and the infamous tubgirl. Revolting, especially so early in the morning.

I can live with the fact that some people are weird and have weird sexual desires. I think that some are better than others, but I can accept people who have foot fetishes and the like. I just think that there must be something fundamentally broken in the mind of someone who wants to be pooped on. Poop is not sexy. Seek help, people.

harry potter

Bryan responded to my complaint about the above with, “Sometimes the internet is nice.” He told me he thought he had a copy of Harry Potter 5. Dubious, I said, “Gimme.”

Let me tell you this: it is fake.

To his credit, Bryan hadn’t actually looked at it; once he did, it was obvious to him, too, that it was garbage. The prose was astoundingly bad. Snape said things like, “Do not believe I am so evil that I will not be willing to let you take the final again for some credit.” (I paraphrase, and probably improve the prose as I do so.)

In the last few pages, one character asks about summer Quidditch. His friend replies, “Haha! That would roxorz my soxorz!” Yeah. That J.K. Rowling is one 31337 H4X0R!

This means that someone else wrote this book. Scenario A: Scholastic had it written by interns to be leaked. That would be awesome, and I’d want that kind of job (but with pay). Scenario B: It’s fanfic. That would make it a 485 page fanfic. I would say “a 485 page awful fanfic,” but that would be redundant. I feel bad for these people, too. It’s one thing to be a mediocre writer. It’s another to not realize that “roxorz” just doesn’t go in a Harry Potter book.

Ok. I’m done ranting now. Back to work.

Written on May 7, 2003